The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
