she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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