you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
