I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My dick has a subreddit
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
