So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
