They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
