Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
