and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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