Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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