I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Your tits are I can't wait for
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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