when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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