The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
