Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
