As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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