You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
