i barfeds in our rink
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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