Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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