those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
