I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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