I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
