Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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