perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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