id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
