There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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