so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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