i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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