Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
