Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
