obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
