I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
