We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
