i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
