I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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