So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Quick, to the slutcave!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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