so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
