So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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