ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
