did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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