Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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