so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
