Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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