i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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