Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
