This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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