Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
