I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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