I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
