Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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