Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
