Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
