i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My bed smells like the plague
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
