Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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